In this sermon, Pastor Joe Babij examines Colossians 3:21 and the apostle Paul’s exhortation there as to how parents and especially fathers should live Spirit-filled, Word-filled lives in relation to their children.
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amen and we need to keep them alive too amen all right Colossians chapter 3 let’s take our Bibles and turn there Colossians chapter 3 and if You’ been wondering where Pastor Dave is he’s on vacation for another couple weeks and he’s enjoying the nice warm California Sun this week Colossians chapter 3 I’ve been reading from Verse 18 to verse wives be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord husbands love your wives and do not be embittered against them children be obedient to your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord fathers do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart slaves in all things obey those who are your Masters on Earth not with re external service as those who merely please men but with sincerity of heart fearing the Lord whatever you do do your work heartily as for the Lord rather than for men knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of The Inheritance it is the Lord Christ whom you serve for he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done and that without partiality let’s pray father this morning again we thank you for the word of God we thank you for that we’re able to have it in our own hands and thank you Lord we’re able to hear it and we are actually able by the spirit of God to do it and so I pray that we would Lord be able to carry out the word of God every single day of our life and I pray that you would be honored as we grow and mature in Christ so Lord get us out of the baby nurse nursery and get us back on our feet as young men and let us start walking like spiritual fathers and I pray that for all of us in Christ I ask it amen I’m going to focus as I did last time on one specific passage of scripture verse number 21 of Colossians chapter 3 3 now before I get there I want you to notice the first word there it says fathers fathers now last Lord’s day we learned that children who are controlled by the spirit and you are word filled need to be aware of their responsibility in their action to be obedient to parents and in their attitude to honor them because that is really a place of blessing that’s where God is honored the most and that’s where the person themsel is honored the most this Lord’s day I’m concerned to show how important fathers are to the leadership of their families now let me read a quote that brings to mind to the mind of fathers the awesome responsibility and power they actually have over their children and it says this it says men the mere fact of fatherhood has endowed you with terrifying power in the lives of your sons and daughters because they have an innate god-given passion for you the terrible fact is we can either Grace our children or damn them so men as fathers you have such incredible power and you will have this power until you die so in a sense fathers have the power of life and death concerning their families so fathers are called to be loving leaders and leadership in the home means seeing that all members of the family are cared for physical welfare their food clothing shelter all of what is ordinarily what is ordinarily called Necessities must be provided for yet if we were to put a finger on a principal area of failure among fathers or potential failure it would be in the area of spiritual leadership in the home the father who abdicates his responsibility for Spiritual discipline and training of his children to his wife is putting her in a place where she is not able to bear that alone if this is the case she finds it necessary to say to her husband more often than she would like honey let’s go to Sunday school let’s go to church as a family let’s read the Bible let’s pray see leadership in these things often is driven by the wife rather than the husband however this role reversal brings with it dire consequences because children learn largely by example they learn that the church is for women they learn that they can do without it they learn that Christianity is not a very manly religion and conclude that it is fine for little children and women but men can take it or leave it now yes Christ is presented in scripture as a real man the very God that he is see Jesus experienced the blessing of a quality life where I ended last time saying Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and Men you see Christianity is actually a manly religion it has a savior who was so much a man that he died he did not fear death he went to the cross to bear the guilt and penalty and wrath of God in the place of his people he was a man a man who loved so dearly that he was willing to give his life for his his people the church and those of course who put their faith and trust in him find life through his death so fathers who seek to imitate Christ’s loving leadership they must be real men who are willing to do what they must to be examples of Christ to their families that mothers who take seriously their responsibility to see to it children are properly trained with a blessing which will be a blessing actually to all now we all know that that doesn’t happen perfectly that happens with a lot of flaws but it can happen as one becomes a Christian and has the holy spirit of God and the word of God in their hand from last week the most basic obligation children have toward their parents is that of obedience it is about children acquiring the knowledge to live wisely and of course experiencing when they do the blessing of a quality life fathers have a lot to do with a child’s quality of life now as we come to our text this morning this Lord’s Day a question questions actually arise immediately from the passage and I want again you to notice chapter 3 verse number 21 it says this again fathers comma so the questions are why did the Apostle Paul address fathers why didn’t he address mothers also after all don’t mothers from the earliest time in the child’s life bear more time and influence on them than fathers do now we can answer that question yes however there are at least two reasons why the Apostle Paul addresses specific specifically fathers he does it here and he also does it in the parallel verse in Ephesians chapter 6 and the reason the first thing is this that discipline and governance of the home is given to the father so the first reason is that fathers are God’s ordained head of the home and are the ones whom God has vested his authority for discipline and the proper training of the children now even when the Apostle Paul addresses pastors young pastors he says in Timothy that there’s a very high standard and and I believe that this standard should be a standard for all men and what is the standard in 1 Timothy 3 verse4 it says he must be one who manages his own household well keeping his children under control with all dignity and then it says this in in parenthesis and if a man does not know how to manage his own household how will he take care of the Church of God if he can’t do the little league how can he do the big league well all men need to know how to do the little league which would be their family and there’s a number of ways in which they might manage their own households yet in all the father others must be in control and be aware of everything that happens in the whole in the home god holds him responsible for example in the passage we read this morning in Deuteronomy six fathers are directed by God in that passage as the ones who must answer questions to their children when are they’re asked in addition they must teach their children of about God about his commands about his ordinances and whatever his else his word says about what he requires and it’s done how it’s done in a a formal way and it’s also done in an informal way but most of the instruction is done in an informal way as it’s addressed in the passage in Deuteronomy chapter 6 where it says and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and you shall talk of them when they sit in your house and when they walk by the way and when they lie down and when they rise up so this is what a father does as he’s moving around through his day and his kids are following him around he’s teaching them and he’s teaching about the Lord he’s teaching about relationships he’s teaching you about them he’s teaching them about Sin he’s teaching them about God’s Redemption and it’s do it’s done on a normal basis like you know driving in the car sitting at a restaurant wherever you are sitting on your couch at home he’s instructing he’s not necessarily getting out a book and says get your pen and fill in the blanks no he’s showing them by example it’s a constant conversation an example every day for the most rest of your life so that is the first thing is that the fa the father is finally responsible for what happens and what doesn’t happen in the home and so that means that he’s given the discipline and governance of the home that’s all given to the father a second thing we find in our passage is that the duty of the father is expressed in a negative imperative and this is the second reason that it it that is found in our text why Paul addresses father it is a negative and it says and it is what fathers are not to do now I want you to see what it says here in verse 21 of Colossians chapter 3 it says fathers do not exasperate your children now I I I think to myself as say wow that’s pretty direct and that’s directed at fathers the word the word exac aspirate actually means it’s used in a bad sense here to to mean to make resentful to irritate to Rouse to anger you think fathers have the ability to do that you better believe they do but sometimes they do it and they don’t know they’re doing it the passage of scripture here says fathers you better know whether you’re doing this and when you’re not doing this because it means everything concerning the child and their future and how they’re going to look at a family how they’re going to look at life how they going they’re going to look at the world so if this action is in progress the Apostle is saying stop it discontinue it it seems it is not uncommon for fathers to fall into this kind of pattern of relating to their children in fact in Colossians they were very influenced by the Roman government government and the Roman principle was it was called Patria potestas and it what it meant is that fathers had unfettered Authority and Power in dealing with their children in any manner they wished however we see here in this passage the transformative nature of the teaching of the Gospel that reminded Christian Christian fathers that God has established boundaries for the use of their Authority that God has delegated to them from heaven and not only that but fathers are to exemplify before their children how the heavenly father and the Lord Jesus Christ already treats their children and how do they do that with Mercy with Grace and with with love and yes with discipline even if we go back to the first couple verses of Colossians we find right in verse number two it says to the Saints and faithful brethren in Christ who are at colassi Grace to You and peace from God the father so this grace and peace is from the father and having God as father only comes by having Jesus as Savior and Lord so Christians are children of God and therefore have a new father the father of the L Lord Jesus Christ who loves them and provides everything for them giving them everything for life and godliness now let me just mention again the parallel passage in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse number four where it says simply this fathers do not provoke your children to anger so Paul uses in Colossians the word to exasperate and in Ephesians he uses the word anger now putting these two passages of scriptures together we get a fuller picture that a father must guard against allowing either themselves their wives or any other person in the family or outside the family to provoke their children to anger he is to guard them in that way and this includes from Colossians remember Colossians is about exposing false teachers this has to do with false teaching too because in the backdrop of this bad behavior of fathers is the teaching of the false teachers that could be supporting this harsh treatment and remember the two greatest failures of the teaching of Colossians were its disparaging of Christ and therefore distorting the Christian life so if teaching dethroned Christ is not only robs him of his rightful place of preeminence but it distorts all the foundational doctrines of the Christian faith and of the Christian Life and the Christian life becomes merely what a set of man-made rules and regulations with no spiritual power and no ability to deal with the sin nature to put sin to death so false teachers and their teaching if acted upon will lead people into becoming grace abusers and grace Killers a Grace killer is someone who’s a legalist too many a lot of rules and so they opt for giving a list of dos and don’ts to accept not only to AC be accepted by your father but to be accepted by God They Don’t Really Leave Room For Gray areas Fellowship is based on whether uh they’re in full agreement with the right standards that’s more important and relationships are less important all also there are those who are Grace abusers they give license to people listen very few rules do what you want no boundaries so they go too far and set aside all self-control they take Liberty to such an extreme that they begin serving sin again so if I as I mentioned last time the the fifth commandment puts parents in in um in the place in which they are personifying Godly character before their children then fathers should not be a stumbling block before their children by giving them the impression that if they cannot please their Earthly father how in the world they’re going to please the heavenly father that’s a very bad impression so what is the reason in Colossians for this command to fathers well look again with me at the passage because it gives us the reason notice what it says in chapter 3 verse number 21 it says fathers do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart so that they will not lose heart the phrase means don’t take the wind out of their CS it further means to have no Spirit or courage to be disen heartened dispirited or broken in spirit we can just use the basic word to discourage them it is when a child loses the will to please his or her parents giving up giving up on and writing off their parents’ discipline in disgust so what causes exasperated children to turn their backs on their parents and to close their ears and their minds and even their hearts to their parents it’s the wrong kind of discipline it’s the wrong kind of teaching see children feel that that they cannot please their parents or their father specifically and they quickly give up trying choosing rather to be silent but often when they’re silent bitterly they conform to the expectations that is expected of them counting the days or the years until they can be free of his tyranny and or they just openly Rebel we’ve all seen this happen right it could even have happened in your own personal family that this this particular thing I think all of us as I was even studying this passage of scripture I always remember things in my own life in which me and my father didn’t always get along and when we didn’t get along or I I I I heard my him and my mom arguing about something it kind of turned me off you know and I started withdrawing and I’m sure there’s many examples we can give uh when we deal with our parents how we felt about them so will our adult children what would they say about us well they say you never talk with me you never were there for me you never kept your word you didn’t listen to me when I was speaking you were always yelling at me you didn’t understand what I was going through often you only loved me when I made you look good you were never satisfied I never heard dad you were proud of me you always sat in front of some media and didn’t pay attention to what was going on you embarrassed me in front of my friends you never touched or hugged me you and Mom were always fighting and arguing you didn’t trust me you didn’t let me make my decisions when I was mature enough to do so you always you were always at work hardly ever home you never took time to have fun with me you said mean things that I’ll never forget you told me I never amount to anything you made my life actually miserable you were too rigid and unreasonable you never helped me feel good about myself you told me to do things that you wouldn’t do and then in the end when I needed you you left I don’t know about you I don’t want those things being said about me by my kids I’m sure there are some in there they could say things right about you and I all right this is all placed on in scripture on the father so what are some common sense causes that could exasperate children now not necessarily mentioned in our text but I’m saying Common Sense well here’s the first one how about underd discipline unannounced rules that are made known only after the child has broken them that provokes exasperation when rules change day by day a child doesn’t know where they stand when rules are enforced only at the whims of the parents and the child becomes confused because that kind of rule is not really a rule and usually unclear rules and penalties are usually unknown that exasperates children so kids finally throw up their hands and say what’s the use in trying to keep the rules you never know what they are or inconsistent dis displine today I got away with breaking the rules yesterday I was overly punished for breaking the rules what’s going to happen tomorrow frustrating unpredictable parents parents you need to be predictable your kid should know what you’re about how you’re going to respond so young people I would like to say this want rules they want to know where the limits are and here’s some counsel some things that I’ve learned the father should sit down with his wife the mother of his children and they should come up with a set of rules and at the same time the punishment for breaking those rules and then sit your kids down age appropriate of course and communicate to them the rules and the punishment for breaking them why do you do that so that they will know ahead of time just what will happen then the parents are to be consistent in enforcing them so parents if you are inconsistent and undependable you will be disobeying this very CA command in the text especially fathers fathers do not exasperate your children if you do so that they will uh so they will not lose heart and if you do not keep that then you will be Paving the road to for them to potentially be provoked in aspir uh exasperation and anger towards you and your wife it’s really better when you’re bringing up kids to have few fewer rules to formulate formulated specic specific specifically around obedience the action of obedience in the attitude that should accompany obedience for instance let’s make a rule when Dad when the dad and the mom tell the child when I call you you are to come at the first call that’s obedience and if you do you will do well but if you don’t come when called the first time that’s Disobedience if disobedience comes to light then the child is told that the penalty will be that they will meet the parent at their bedroom door and then they will receive in inside the bedroom in a controlled way three wax with the rod of Correction applied to their hind end that’s pretty simple to understand isn’t it I think all kids could understand that when I first started doing this with our kids I didn’t know what I was doing but at that point I started studying The Book of Proverbs and from Proverbs gave me very good instruction on what to do and I be began to apply this to all our kids my wife and I and we were amazed how quickly they learned and they stopped the behavior that we wanted them to stop but as a pastor I have sat sat down with people about these very biblical principles show them all the text that the Bible says and they says oh I couldn’t do that and some even says that’s child abuse I don’t think so this is wisdom that comes from Heaven to the parents and believe me if you get your children to listen to your voice early when they become teenagers they won’t be exasperated they won’t be exasperated so if the child does not obey the parent the first time according to the established Rule and penalty right if they don’t obey who’s in charge the parent or the child I tell you what when your kids don’t obey you you’re no longer in charge they’re in charge right you have given them Authority that they don’t know how to handle so you can teach discipline better with one rule properly enforced than with 15 rules that you never really follow up on once you get a result from one rule then you can add a second rule that’s I think the best way to do it I know that even some counselors have uh written books on that is the best way to do it in fact the example we have about that principle is the Lord God himself well how do I know that that well the Lord only gave 10 commandments for all of life only 10 and they’re very short some of them so they were to be taught they were to be memorized and they were to be lived out and if they were taught memorized and lived out today there would be a lot less war and a lot more peace with people so in the Garden of Eden there was just one rule for Adam and Eve Obed obedience centered around that particular Rule and the penalty was also clearly spelled out Adam and Eve were told not to eat of that tree all the rest of the trees were theirs but this one tree was off limits listen what it says and they had one rule it says in Genesis 2: 16 it says the Lord commanded the man saying from any tree of the garden you may eat freely but from the Tree of the knowledge of good nil you shall not eat and what was the penalty he spelled it out very clearly for the day that you eat from it you will surely what die you will surely die so long before the sin God said don’t but if you do this is this will be the consequences and when it happened God follow through and man die died and plundered the whole human race in the fall into sin so it was one act of Disobedience to God with very clear Rule and the penalty of that of breaking that rule and that was we suffered that consequence today the same is true when you uh when the Israelites went into the promised land God God’s rules and penalties and rewards were made very very clear if you read through the Old Testament you’re going to find there’s a chapter in the Old Testament about the Mount of blessing and the Mount of or and cursing and the people would read the blessing and then they would go back and forth and read back and forth the blessings and the cursings why do they do that you know what so they would know what are the blessings and if I break the blessings and don’t keep God’s commands here’s the curses see that’s true so the blessings of God were spelled out for obedience and the curses and disob obedience plainly listed all was laid out ahead of time see this is God’s pattern God told them that if they sin they would be scattered among the Nations he told them the awful Siege of the city that it would be destroyed he told them all these things long before they entered into the Promised Land they knew exactly what penalties were to be and and what they uh what was to come about if they kept them and if they broke them so the people failed to obey God’s clear command and when they did God follow through with the curses so when our children don’t obey I mean don’t they disobey that’s very painful one thing that we cannot do is we cannot change we we cannot manipulate their will in the sense where we can make them do what we want them to do they have their own will they have their own personality and but much of the sorrow that we experience as parents of wayward children comes from the self-doubt and guilt that we are prone to feel feel when there’s failures in our children and we ask questions like what did we do wrong did I love him or her too much or not enough what did we say or fail to say that would have turned his or her heart towards us and towards god well it was John MacArthur who said this uh when he was writing about children he says equipping a child with spiritual TR truth is no guarantee he or she will follow Christ I know many diligent parents he said and grandparents whose Hearts have made have been made broken by a family member’s rejection of Christ we can only plant the seeds by teaching and living out the truth how they respond is out of our hands now as truthful as that is it is as painful as it is truthful from the standpoint of human responsibility both parents and children make choices for which we are held accountable ultimately however we must rely on God to do in our lives and in the lives of our children what we are unable to do ourselves what does it say in psalm 27 unless the Lord builds the house those who build it labor in vain you know that the Lord has has to pour out just as much grace to save children from a believing family as an unbelieving family so we parents are not in control of our children’s Destiny we are power is to create faith in our children’s Hearts while we can encourage our children to hunger for wisdom’s feast we cannot make that choice for them only The Sovereign L The Sovereign Lord can change a child’s heart and that’s because as dear as they are to us our children are Sinners by Nature so biblically speaking there are no no good kids we may assume that our children are good because they aren’t in serious trouble and they are reasonably compliant but such an assessment is based on outward behavior and not the inner heart as much as we want to believe that our children are good it will only be from a human standpoint you’re good but you’re not as bad as that other person so I guess you’re good but we need to realize that ultimately the question is good of goodness doesn’t have to do with what we perceive or think but whether our child truly has received Christ as his or her own Lord and savior so much grace is though available in a Christian home and if a a father is following the word of God in his Christian home there he will be the authority and there’ll be lots of rules but there’ll be boundaries and there’ll be penalties for breaking those rules but along with that there’ll be a lot of love and there’ll be a lot of confidence built into the the child in a lot of security and even going with that a lot of fun you just enjoyed life nobody was perfect in that situation but you just put God’s principles into practice and you saw them work now what are some other Causes That Could lead to the exasperation of children I had to think about some of these things of course being overly uh overly strict to control your child you’re you’re more like a policeman and rarely give your children Freedom also elevating expectations that are not appropriate to the child’s makeup or age always pushing for achievement and making the child reach goals or do things that is beyond their ability when they keep failing to reach the goals of the parents for of of the parents expectations the child concludes I can do nothing for them that will be enough and so what that’s exasperation they don’t understand me unjust rules and penalties or responsibilities laid Upon a Child what about unreasonableness a parent who is unwilling to hear his child’s case instead parents as children go grow older allow them to explain their position it may be valid it may not be valid they may deserve punishment but that also they may be right you know I grew up in a home where the kids are not to speak when the adults were around did you goow a home like that a strong Catholic polish home uh uh uh uh no no so I didn’t say much around the adults and if I did say things around the adults I better duck because I would get now my parents weren’t biblical Christians they had no knowledge of those things and in the and at the end I had a great relationship my parents my father came to know the Lord my mother came to know the Lord it it was just but it was a long process you know and uh you have to listen to your kids when they get to a certain point you have to listen to them even you know they may be more reasonable than you sometimes comparison to other siblings oh don’t do that ever why aren’t you like your brother or sister oh no don’t do that each child is uniquely made different by God Parents should nurture them based on who they are their talents their gifts their physical intellectual abilities and also their bents towards sin children are created so different one doesn’t sin the way the other one sins but they both sin so you can’t treat them alike in that way if you do then you’re to break their spirit because they will never be their brother and sister what about divided Authority mothers and fathers who disagree on various rules and penalties in the home they have two different ideas about punishment and where how does it it results in this unagreed rules and unagreed penalties when they disagree well nothing ever happens they never carry anything out actually what happens is chaos and confusion and then children are smart enough to know that when their parents are in agreement they learn how to get their own way by setting one parents against another they’re smart they are smart what about abuse of any type physical verbal or mental abuse that should never be in the home it could be you ever hear of disciple decimal uh deciple discipline you know deciple another way of saying is yelling it really just creates frustration and Chaos for all the parent uses deciples to get attention and to increase the the decibels increase volume until they finally comply and the child concludes I don’t have to obey Mommy and Daddy till they put on their mad voice and you know your children knows your voice right they know when you’re being funny and and and serious they know when you’re um being uh at the point where you better come or else but if your children are not obeying the first time you’re not in control if you have to yell you’re not in control they’re in control what about the lack of the Father’s Love and nurture not being an example always withholding your approval and encouragement only telling your child when they’re wrong never when they did something right and then they’ll just another one neglect No Boundaries no love which leads to no confidence in security see neglect for sure will spell trouble David King David neglected Absalon his son and abson became a great heartbreak in David’s life and US parents really can’t afford the price of being so busy that we don’t have time for our kids so that is the negative part of a father but there is a positive part Paul did not bring it up in Colossians he brought it up in Ephesians and the positive the duty of a father is also expressed with a positive imperative and what is that positive imperative the imperative is this in Ephesians chapter 6 verse number four fathers don’t provoke them to anger Colossians don’t exasperate them what but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord pretty simple there I just going to go through some of these uh quickly so parents are responsible to humbly honor the Lord and Faithfully obey his word in training their children although it is true that God doesn’t absolutely guarantee success in the response to our faithful parenting the Bible does make it very clear that parents are responsible to train their children according to God’s principles that is their job and the first one is to bring them up and that just simply means to feed them to nourish them to bring them up in a good wholesome environment and in bringing them up in that environment to use your power to direct your K children so they don’t uh and you don’t leave it for someone else use your power to restrain them do it in a calm and controlled and respectful man manner use your power to test and judge them to be fair and balanced with them secondly from our text you’re to discipline them education by means of discipline training by verbal reproof and or argument that means also applying to their gluteus maximist the needed pressure to get them to listen to your voice because a child by nature is sin bound and so a father needs to reprove his child from errors we are to diligently discipline our kids in the hope that God will work through our discipline and nurture them and draw them to the Lord Jesus Christ someday actually this Hebrew word in the Old Testament for discipline is really the the the discipline or training of the individual in areas where he or she is unruly and does not want to be told and of course a parent should know those areas so he’s to instruct them to train them to discipline them to correct them and many times to do that with the rod when they are younger and if a parent used uses the rod applied in a very controlled and safe and consistent way to the gluteus maximus of the child the child will listen to the voice of the parents and they will become obedient and they will do it quicker than you think and then as they get older you have to change your methods of instruction and AD admonition and discipline and when you do that uh you learn a child well enough to know what they like and they don’t don’t like and when they don’t obey you you take away what they like right like on a nice beautiful day they want to go outside and they play you say come over here sit by the table you you weren’t treating your sister nicely and you broke one of our let’s say that was one of our rules let’s sit down here 500 times you’re going to write straight across on that line right I will be kind and nice to my CH sister something like that and you know and all a sudden and if you go off that line you have to start all over again you know because what happened is that when I did that the first time when our kids the line started getting like going south and I said well what happened to that line so I had change that up a little bit but it works but you have to know your children and you have to learn how to use those things in a very good way uh to be able to adjust them and direct them in the right manner because a child I mean a child is somebody that you have to apply for the force necessary to cause them to follow your verbal in instructions you have to do that and also the pressure to hold them back from what they would do if they were left to their own desires if you said to your kids listen make your own meal eat what you want well what what are they going to oh yeah mashed potatoes string beans meat right no chips soda right if they continue to do that their health is not going to do so well it’s but sometimes that’s the freedom that sometimes parents give their kids on all areas and it doesn’t work well for them in the future it really does not the Bible says that discipline your son and he will give you rest he will Delight your heart Proverbs 19:18 discipline your son while while there is hope and do not desire his death Pro Proverbs 23:13 do not hold back discipline from your child although you beat him with the rod he will not die see the Lord encourages us to train our children because we might be the very means he will use to rescue our children from destruction and protect them from the foolishness that already resides in their own heart and then of course not only are we to bring them up discipline them we are are also to instruct them and what do we do to instruct them men where it says in in Ephesians to instruct the instruction of the Lord or by means of like it says in Proverbs 29:17 correct your son and he will give you comfort he will also Delight your soul so again parent parents accountability to develop in their children a taste for righteousness to develop in their child a submissive and respectful demeanor to discipline the will toward obedience and as a parent does that they’re observing their kids they’re understanding that they have a fallen nature and that they’re going to sin they’re observing their child’s way like it says in Proverbs there’s a way all right that that word Derek is used all over the place in Proverbs all right there’s a certain way about each child there are certain bents towards towards sin there’s certain bents towards righteousness there’s certain gifts and abilities you’re recognizing this so when a child go grows older you can give them some counsel on on what they should do you know maybe a child says you know I want to go to college and you say to them you know what I think that you so skilled with your hands college is not going to be a good place for you you need to go to trade school because you can use those skills in in a better way to be a plumber or electrician or something else and not College hey we know a lot of college kids today they graduate with a degree and they’re working at Starbucks and McDonald’s seems like some of the jobs are drying up so you’re steering your child away from their natural bents to sin and you want to build up Godly character you want to teach your children wisdom from the word of God you want to instill dignity and respect in them that they would increase in knowledge and stature and in favor with God and men and then you want to try to remove all Tendencies to Prejudice where it says in Titus to speak evil of no one to love people to treat people no matter who they are where they come from how they look how they’re dressed what they eat what culture they have to treat them with respect because respect will get you a lot of ground to bringing the gospel to them right so even though there is no easy method to ensure well-balanced children parents are like Farmers parenting is plowing and digging and raking and planting it’s weeding and cultivating and irrigating and then waiting on the heaven until the Harvest but you never can give up you never can step back and even after they leave the home you’re still parenting different role you’re more like a a counselor to them and hopefully they do come to you for counsel and that’s when they do that’s a lot of acknowledgment that you did something that you ought to have done so here are some some some several ways to get started number one create an environment that is encouraging and healthy in your home in this en environment children should be able to feel appreciated and cared for it and love a place that they can find emotional and spiritual and physical comfort and protection your home should be a Haven it should be a place you rest and enjoy life if it’s other than that you’re doing doing something wrong secondly create clear rules and penalties to protect from exasperating your children let them know where the lines are and show them what happens to people who refuse to live under the wise rule of the word of God and God himself and give them insight and insensitive incentive and encouraging encouragement and then thirdly would be to create good good reasons and incentives for right choices if you obey this will happen if you disobey this will happen and if you do what is right there are rewards and benefits that come with it then once you do that let them choose their consequences and if they choose wrong choices they must pay for their wrong Chas choices and I would say this to parents at this point do not always want to rescue your children you can’t always rescue them they have to learn that sometimes their choices are going to have consequences that only they can deal with always looking over their shoulder of course always wanting to make sure they don’t fall too far right so what will our children say you weren’t perfect but I didn’t I didn’t expect you to be you were always there when I needed you I always knew you loved me we we used to have so much fun as a family I still remember some of the talks we had I’m so thankful I had you as my dad in mom I always knew that I could talk to you you made me always feel so special and you actually came to trust me when I was making decisions and supported me you made it when you were wrong and I’m glad you didn’t always let me have my way you gave me room to be myself you made me feel good about myself I remember the stories that you used to tell me I can’t believe how patient you were with me you gave me a love for nature you gave me a love for people and you gave me a love for God I knew I could always trust you I always knew that you wanted the best for me you showed me how to care for others and I was proud to have you as my my friends to meet you I know you you’d love me no matter what you taught me how to make my own choices you let me learn from my own mistakes you knew I I always knew you always tried to keep your word that’s really how we want our kids to view US don’t we so fathers you are given responsibility that comes from God fathers you are a to avoid the negative imperative to live in a way where you cause your children to be angry or to be exasperated and fathers it is your job to implant in your kids a positive and consistent example of what God requires in the home and when you do that everybody’s the happier but also the church is the stronger and the society and Nation are stronger because that’s the Next Generation amen let’s pray Lord thank you again for your word Lord it seems like when we we look at your word we’re just touching the Hem of the Garment on the wisdom that drips from it and so I pray Lord today that you you would bless fathers that you would give them Lord the desire to want to get to the place if they are not doing what your word says to start doing it and if some men here are not fathers but are future fathers you would help them to remember the instruction from the word of God and I pray Lord that even we as being in a relationship with our parents if any of those bad things happened with us and our parents Lord help us to be able to have the wisdom to know how to communicate with them now and that Lord you would even take away some of the things that we did that kind of destroyed our relationship and Lord please rebuild this with our parents and for all the young children that are here I pray Lord that I know they have many voices speaking to them from the world but I pray Lord your voice would be louder than all the rest and they would listen to you that to obey is pleasing to the Lord because it leads to all other the all really all the rest of the goodness of life and Lord give us all wisdom together to help each other with our even with our own children to be able to instruct each other other and help each other about based on what we know and what worked for us and how the word of God was implemented that we can share it with those who don’t know it yet and I pray Lord bring it all together so that you may raise strong biblical families and that you would raise strong biblical children who know you as Lord and Savior and are willing to go out into the world and be an example and to be a testimony to the Great Name of Jesus Christ That Others May hear the gospel and be saved and I pray this this morning in your name amen