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Six Imperatives of a Wise Father

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Summary

Proverbs provides a blueprint for wise fathering that begins with the fear of the Lord and passes wisdom from generation to generation. The book of Proverbs reveals six imperatives for God-fearing fathers: unifying with the mother in instruction, commanding children’s attention, carrying on generational teaching, cautioning against refusing God’s discipline, choosing friends wisely, and caring about legacy.

Key Lessons:

  1. Faithful fathering is inseparable from God’s wisdom — a father must first know Christ and fear the Lord before he can effectively teach his children.
  2. Parents must be unified in their instruction; when father and mother are on the same page, children have no wiggle room to play one parent against the other.
  3. Wisdom is generational — what a father teaches his children today will shape how grandchildren are raised tomorrow, making the stakes of fathering far greater than one household.
  4. A father’s legacy is not primarily material wealth but the wisdom, integrity, and fear of the Lord he passes to the next generation.

Application: Fathers are called to step up today — to become Christians if they are not, to unify with their wives in instruction, to speak their convictions freely and often, to choose wise friends for their families, and to implement the six imperatives of Proverbs in the daily life of their homes.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Which of the six imperatives of wise fathering is most lacking in your own family, and what specific step could you take this week to address it?
  2. How does the idea that “parents are the pride of their children” (Proverbs 17:6) challenge the way you think about what you are passing on to the next generation?
  3. What does it look like practically for a father and mother to get on the same page in their instruction, especially when they currently disagree on parenting approaches?

Scripture Focus: Proverbs 17:6 (grandchildren as the crown of the aged and parents as children’s pride), Proverbs 1:7-10 (fear of the Lord and warnings against sinful enticement), Proverbs 4:1-8 (commanding attention and acquiring wisdom), Proverbs 3:11-12 (not rejecting the Lord’s discipline), Proverbs 19:18-20 (discipline while there is hope), and Proverbs 20:7 (the righteous man’s legacy of integrity).

Outline

Introduction

I was reading an article about fathers and this one man, John Green, wrote something and he said this.

The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you are unqualified to do. But you become qualified while you’re doing it.

Maybe he said all the most important things in life are like that: being born, getting married, having children, dying. There’s no trial run for such things because nothing can prepare someone for the magnitude of the task.

In all the most crucial roles we’ll play in life, we are amateurs, at least at the beginning.

It’s as if the best way to approach life-changing moments is with a good deal of ignorance, a strong dose of humility, tempered with hope, and a generous help of beginners’ luck. I disagree with the last part because we have the book of Proverbs.

We have the wisdom in God’s word on how to do it. Proverbs is a book that was written to prepare young men to be wise people in the kingdom of men, which would lead people to the kingdom of God.

That’s what you’re going to see in Proverbs.

One father said to another father, “I’m no model father. All I’m trying to do is behave in such a way that when people tell my son that he reminds them of me, he’ll stick out his chest and not stick out his tongue.”

There’s a lot of truth to that.

But fathering implies an action on the part of a man. He is given the responsibility to father his children.

A popular radio host recently received information from a national survey where children were asked what they wanted most in everyday life. To the surprise of the survey, they said more time with my parents.

I think it shows that no matter what, deep down in the heart of a child is the longing to be close to and influenced by his or her parents.

The Crown of Fatherhood: Proverbs 17:6

Now to start off this morning, let’s turn to Proverbs 17.

An interesting passage of scripture.

Proverbs 17:6 says, “Children are the crown of old men and the glory of sons is their father.”

Now the ESV says, “Children are the crown of the aged and the glory of children as their fathers.”

Now one would think at first reading that the most common Greek and Hebrew terms would be used to translate the word glory. Either glory meaning brightness or radiance or the Hebrew word meaning weightiness.

But none of those words are used in this passage to translate the word glory. Actually, it’s translated as the word respect or pride.

The translators surely grappled with this word and from my research I found that there was one translation that came closest to it and it read like this: “Children’s children are a crown to the age and parents are the pride of their children.” Now you would think it would say here children are the pride of their parents, but that’s not what it says.

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”

It does say in the first part of it that grandchildren are the crown of old men.

What it is saying is that in the context of Proverbs, when children grow up and have their own children, their parents, which are now the grandparents, are their pride.

And why is that? Because their parents taught them wisdom, taught them to fear the Lord, taught them to steer away from being naive and being foolish, taught them to recognize how utterly ugly and displeasing is the scoffer.

Taught them not to despise the discipline of the Lord. In other words, the parents taught their children to set their eyes on wisdom and that is now benefiting them in teaching and training their children.

“Their parents taught them wisdom, taught them to fear the Lord, taught them to recognize how ugly is the scoffer.”

The children of parents that follow wisdom, especially the wisdom of the word of God, are not at a disadvantage when they grow up and have their own children.

They actually have a solid example to fall on. They have some model to look at to see how it’s done.

Not everybody has that. Most people don’t have that because if you look further in Proverbs 17:24, it says, “Wisdom is in the presence of the one who has understanding but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.” And verse 25 says, “A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.”

Now, before I look at the six imperatives of a wise father within the book of Proverbs, I want you to grab hold of three factors when considering fathering.

Factor 1: Faithful Fathering Is Linked to God’s Wisdom

And the first one is this: faithful fathering is linked to God’s wisdom, and it’s found right in the first chapter of Proverbs.

Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”

Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Fools despise wisdom and instruction. A father is one who fully accepts the responsibility to train his children in wise living.

Not an absentee father, not a neglectful father, but a father who is responsible. Fathering with the goal in mind that begins with the fear of the Lord.

This is not a new thing in Proverbs. Matter of fact, Proverbs talks about the fear of the Lord all through the book.

Proverbs 15:33 says, “The fear of the Lord is the instruction for wisdom.” The fear of the Lord is a dominating theme in the whole counsel of God.

Proverbs 15:33: “The fear of the Lord is the instruction for wisdom.”

Whereas the believer is called upon to revere God, the unbeliever does not revere God.

It says in Romans, “Destruction and misery are in their paths, and the path of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.” Wisdom would include how to love God, how to worship God, how to obey God, how to serve God. All those things would be included in that and it would be repeated in the home over and over and over.

A Father Must Be a Christian

That means successful fathering is somewhat incomplete and out of reach until he becomes a Christian.

Why is that? Because it tells us in Colossians, in whom Christ are hidden the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

“Successful fathering is incomplete and out of reach until he becomes a Christian.”

A father should be a Christian. For children to glory in their fathers, dads should know Christ. And every child should know that their daddy has trusted the Lord Jesus Christ as his savior.

To be a Christian, we must confess to God that we are sinners and trust in Christ as the only way, the truth, and the life because he has finished the work of salvation. Then once we know him, we live that out in the home.

Children should know that we are Christians not because we go to church, not because we carry a Bible or say that we are saved, but because of the way that we behave in our homes because of the regular effort to be godly examples.

“Children should know we are Christians not because we go to church, but because of the way we behave in our homes.”

Children should know that we are saved by the way we respond to problems, by the way we treat their mothers, by the change that Jesus Christ has made in their lives.

Fathers must choose to take the lead in their families. They must be present. They must be active. They must be engaging.

But just like it says in the Old Testament, when all the people had died in the wilderness, Moses had died and God gave Joshua the mission to go into the promised land and take the people there. If you read through the book of Joshua, you find that this is what he says to the people right at the end of the book.

He says, “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and truth and put away the gods which your father served beyond the river and in Egypt and serve the Lord. And if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve, whether the gods which your father served, which were beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites, whose land you are living in now. But as for me in my house, we will serve the Lord.”

The reason why he says that is that you will serve someone or something. So choose the right one, and fathers have to do that.

That’s the first factor.

Factor 2: Faithful Fathering Leads to God’s Blessing

The factor in fathering a wise father is always linked to God’s wisdom. A second factor is a faithful father leads to God’s blessing through faithful fathering.

Now if you look at Proverbs 23:15-16 and then verses 24-25. Notice what it says here concerning this factor: wise children actually bring happiness and joy to the parents. It says in verse 15 of Proverbs 23, “My son, if your heart is wise, my own heart also will be glad.” Verse 16, “And my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.” And then down to verse 24, the father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who beggets a wise man will be glad in him. Verse 25, let your father and your mother be glad and let her rejoice who gave birth to you.

Proverbs 23:15: “My son, if your heart is wise, my own heart also will be glad.”

See, if the father follows God’s blueprint, then the foundation will be secure for an actual happy home because the father is doing the teaching and the children are doing the listening, at least in the beginning. Then what they learn, they go and teach their children when they have children.

Factor 3: Failed Fathering Leads to God’s Curse

But there’s a third factor, and the third factor is this: failed fathering leads to God’s curse.

A foolish child will bring immeasurable grief to the mother and father.

In Proverbs 10:1 it says, “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is grief to his mother.” These factors are important to continue on in the book of Proverbs because there’s either going to be the blessing that comes with teaching and living God’s wisdom, or a failure that produces certain results that are not good for anyone.

“There’s either the blessing of teaching God’s wisdom or a failure that produces results not good for anyone.”

Now that these factors have been given, let me proceed to the six imperatives for wise fathering.

The book of Proverbs gives a fathering model that reveals no less than six imperatives of a God-fearing father. He will implement these every day in his parenting philosophy. By the conscientious employment of these imperatives, a father may enjoy the blessing of God and avoid the misery brought on by foolish children.

Imperative 1: Combine Instruction with the Mother’s Teaching

And here’s the first imperative: a wise father will combine his instruction with the teaching of the mother.

If you look at Proverbs 1:8-9, I’ll let you turn there.

His relationship to the mother is one of unity and trust such that the parents complement one another in the daily process of parenting their children. Now, this is an imperative because if there’s a disconnect in this first imperative, then you’re already in trouble.

If the father doesn’t agree with the mother and the mother doesn’t agree with the father, then you have some real issues.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen that happen too often with families that can’t agree on even how to raise a child, how to discipline them, and even how to teach them in many respects.

But if you notice in our passage in verses 8 and 9 of chapter 1, a father instructs and gives commands while the mother is also teaching. It says in verse 8, “Hear my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Verse 9: “Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.”

That last part just shows there’s a beauty when a mother and father are unified in teaching their children the same things. Because they’re not only speaking it, they’re living it and they agree upon it. So the children have no wiggle room.

Proverbs 1:8: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”

Unity Gives Children No Wiggle Room

They can’t run to the parent who’s more vulnerable in the sense that they know they’re the weaker one, and children know that.

So the persistent commands of the father and teachings of the mother are a continual reminder to the children because of the temptation of life that appealed to their remaining corruption.

“Children can’t run to the parent who’s more vulnerable — and children know that.”

The temptation to give up the standard of righteousness, to loosen their grip on wisdom, to give into their lusts and their passions, and then to listen to all the other voices vying for their attention.

They are always listening to someone—either themselves, which is heavily influenced by sin and often manipulated by Satan the master deceiver—or they will continue to listen to wisdom and they will take their example from their wise parents and they will fear and obey the Lord.

Give Your Children Wisdom as Their Greatest Wealth

If you’re not on the same page, parents, work at unity. Get on the same page and allow the word of God to get you there because it will. Wise parents make instructing their children in the way of the Lord a priority. Nothing is more important than teaching children about life from God’s perspective.

The reality and consequences of wisdom and folly—each way produces certain results. There are the realities and consequences of righteousness and wickedness, or the realities and consequences of truth and error. In fact, God considers godly instruction to be of greater value than anything else, especially anything a young adult can take from their home.

If you want to give your children wealth, give them wisdom because it will protect them from many things that they’re going to be confronted with in the world.

“If you want to give your children wealth, give them wisdom — it will protect them from many things.”

The father instructs and gives command while the mother is also teaching. The father exhorts his son to listen to him and to honor their mother.

It says in Proverbs 23: “Listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she’s old.”

“Let your father and your mother be glad and let her rejoice who gave birth to you.” If the father and mother are on the same page, then you’re going to find that the father is going to trust the wife completely. The wife is going to trust the father, her husband.

Imperative 2: Command Your Son’s Attention

And then what happens at the end of Proverbs? Her children praise her and her husband praises her and she becomes a blessed woman because of the result of children carrying out wisdom even to the end of their life when everyone gets older.

That’s the first imperative. The second imperative found in chapter 4, the chapter that we read this morning is this: a wise father will command his son’s attention.

Now, I did not say a father is to demand his children’s attentiveness, but to command it.

He believes that what he has to say is beneficial to his children. He urges them to listen. It always starts with listening.

Fathers Must Have Convictions

And this means the father should be courageous because fathers have convictions and children should know what their dad stands for on the issues of life.

“Fathers have convictions and children should know what their dad stands for on the issues of life.”

Fathers should speak freely and often of their convictions. What are your convictions about God? What are your convictions about the word of God?

What are your convictions about the church, about eternity, about salvation? There are a hundred other things that can go underneath that. The father has convictions that have been developed in his heart by the word of God.

He understands what wisdom is and he wants to teach it to his children. But before he can do that, they must be listening.

So the father aims to give his children understanding. His children are attentive to this imperative: the command for aggressive listening.

Proverbs 4:1 says, “Hear, O son, the instruction of a father and give attention that you may gain understanding.” This word attention simply refers to a student diligently and willingly giving attentiveness to the teacher.

Proverbs 4:1: “Hear, O son, the instruction of a father and give attention that you may gain understanding.”

Here we have a really concentrated craving and a single-hearted devotion to discovering and doing what is right. If you will remain a pupil of wisdom, you must on a regular basis match wisdom’s intense cry with your effort to listen to it and hear it.

As Proverbs 10:8 says, “A wise heart will receive commands, but a babbling fool will be thrown down.” So he commands his children by his authoritative teaching, by his authoritative lifestyle, and they listen.

Do Not Abandon Parental Instruction

And then in Proverbs 4:2, he commands them not to abandon parental instruction. In verse two it says, “For I give you sound teaching and do not abandon my instruction.”

When the pupil, the student, the learner at home learning from their father, he says to them: what I’m teaching you, don’t abandon it, don’t leave it aside, don’t cast it off, don’t reject it, don’t let it in the ground and rot away. And why shouldn’t a son or daughter abandon or leave or cast away this teaching?

Well, in verse one, it tells us that it’s gain. It’s profit. This word translated gain really means you find out knowledge that will make you skillful in life. It will be profitable to you to know how to be skillful in what is good and what is pleasant and what is excellent.

But he says something else about why not to cast this teaching away. In verse two, he says, “For I will give you sound teaching or good teaching, healthy teaching.” This is good healthy food for your soul. It is excellent for you.

“This is good healthy food for your soul. It is excellent for you.”

It is valuable in estimation. It will result in welfare and prosperity and happiness.

So how utterly foolish it would be to set it aside—set aside this treasure that is being offered to you by parents that understand God’s word and understand what wisdom is. It would be utterly foolish to do so.

The Danger of Higher Education Without Wisdom

It means for you that the preparation given by wise parents is not to be laid aside when leaving the home. That is to learn more formally from teachers who will train you in the role you’ll have in this world.

But there’s a great warning with that. The warning is this: higher education is becoming less and less profitable and healthy. It has been polluted by fools who hate God.

“Higher education has been polluted by fools who hate God.”

Just as it says in Psalms, the fool says in his heart there is no God. And what does God say? They are corrupt and they do abominable deeds. There is no one who does good.

That is the second imperative to command your children’s attention.

Imperative 3: Carry On Your Father’s Teaching

A third imperative is this: a wise father will carry on his father’s teaching.

As a son, he listened to his father and now he passes on the baton of life’s principles to the next generation.

It’s always about the next generation. We’re not just teaching our immediate children. We are teaching the next generation. That means the grandchildren become very important.

When the world gets darker and darker, we need wiser and wiser children.

“We’re not just teaching our immediate children. We are teaching the next generation.”

What is fatherhood but a passing on of manhood?

Right there in Proverbs 4:3, the son recalls the preciousness of his relationship with his own parents. It says, “When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me and said to me, ‘Let your heart hold fast my words. Keep my commandments and live.’”

He’s recollecting what he’s learned and he’s holding it as something very precious, a treasure never to let go of.

He’s saying, “I had a relationship with my father and my mother, and I want to pass on that teaching generationally.”

Wisdom is taught in the fear of relationships within the home and within the family—between a mother and a father and their children, and between grandparents in the family too.

What Parents Should Be Teaching

Parents ought to help children see what is important and teach them how to think for themselves. But fathers need to give them the grid or the pattern on how to think, what to pursue, what honors God, what doesn’t honor God.

He teaches his son what his father taught him, namely the priority of obedience and the pursuit of acquiring wisdom.

“Fathers need to give them the grid on how to think, what to pursue, what honors God.”

With that acquisition comes a life that will truly be blessed. You can avoid many things by being wise.

You’ll get in much trouble by being foolish or by being naive, and especially by being the scoffer. Those are the three individuals the whole book of Proverbs talks about.

So it’s good advice.

Acquire Wisdom as a Prize

Verse 5 of chapter 4. Notice the advice he gives them: acquire wisdom, acquire understanding, do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.

You notice he’s still saying, “Listen, you have to listen to me.” Acquire is an imperative. It means to get. Make wisdom a priority. And when you get it, acquire it as a prize.

“Make wisdom a priority. And when you get it, acquire it as a prize.”

Wise parents are to be sold on instructing the children under their charge in the ways of God, which is the right way.

Parents, I really want to admonish you to seriously consider your situation as a parent. Even though you didn’t have a good model possibly growing up, you can go back to the word of God and regain the model that the man of Proverbs teaches to his son and his children. You need to do that today to implement these teachings within the daily life of your family.

If you don’t teach a child faith and obedience, it will cost his or her life.

Prize Wisdom and She Will Exalt You

And then notice in verse 4:6, he says this: “Do not forsake her.” He’s talking about forsaking wisdom. And what will she do if you don’t forsake her? Notice, she will guard you.

Love her and she will watch over you.

So that means the mind of the child is so permeated by the word of God that when he wakes up, when he goes to sleep, when she wakes up, when she goes to sleep, she will have in her mind truth, wisdom, and it will guard her because it will cause her to think in a way that she can make and he can make a right decision.

“Do not forsake wisdom — she will guard you. Love her and she will watch over you.”

Love wisdom and it will watch over you. It will be like a precious jewel to be guarded.

And then notice verse 4:7. The beginning of wisdom is acquire wisdom and with all your acquiring get understanding that you never stop growing in it.

And then in verse 4:8, it says this: “Prize her and she will exalt you. She will honor you if you embrace her.” In other words, once you get it, hold it.

And once you hold it, pass it on to the next generation.

See, nurture your children with the love for truth. And parents, if you love and live the truth, your children will have a good idea how to love truth.

“Nurture your children with the love for truth. If you love and live the truth, your children will have a good idea how to love truth.”

The Sad Reality: Children May Reject Truth

Now, the sad part is there is a sad part.

The sad part is that children may choose not to embrace the truth of God’s word and follow your example and embrace your convictions. They may not choose to do that.

But the prayer of us as parents and especially of the father should be that my son and my daughter will embrace my convictions and the things that I’ve been teaching them.

“The prayer of the father should be that my son and daughter will embrace my convictions.”

And what are the things that we should be teaching children? We should be teaching children the love of God.

How to listen and obey him. We should teach children to guard their mind. What they’re thinking about all the time is very important to be able to examine that. Throw out all the garbage and put in what is good and right.

We should be teaching our kids to honor their parents.

That’s the fifth commandment in the decalogue.

Because if you obey your parents and you honor them, it adds time to your life.

Also to control their thoughts, to watch their words, to persevere in work and honor the Lord with their labor, to honor the Lord with their wealth.

That means to be generous, having a concern for justice and equity, the right kind of equity and with neighbors that you are not stingy with what God’s blessed you with to select family or command companions and friends correctly when you get married to be faithful to your spouse. House committed to sexual purity and fidelity and marriage are all taught in the book of Proverbs.

Probably that one right there is taught more than anything else.

Imperative 4: Caution Against Refusing God’s Discipline

There’s a fourth imperative that a wise father will caution his son against refusing the discipline of the Lord.

Look quickly at Proverbs 19:18.

Proverbs 19:18: “Discipline your son while there is hope and do not desire his death.”

Then verse 20 says, “Listen to counsel and accept discipline that you may be wise the rest of your days.” Discipline is a good thing for parents to carry out, harnessing their sinful passions and their bent to sin, reigning that in so you can guide them and direct them in the way they ought to go.

A wise father will caution his son against refusing the Lord’s discipline. He follows the Lord’s example, correcting his son with love, knowing someday his son will be directly responsible to God himself about how he raises his children.

God Disciplines Those He Loves

See, the heavenly father will discipline your children where you couldn’t discipline them. They will leave your home someday and they will go off. And if they have been holding on to the truth of God’s word and to wisdom, they’re going to slip up somewhere. And God’s going to step in and he’s going to discipline them.

The Bible is saying, and notice in Proverbs 3:11-12 it says, “My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord or loathe his reproof.” Why shouldn’t a son reject it? Well, the next passage of scripture tells us why in verse 12 of chapter 3. For whom the Lord loves, he reproves.

Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

Proverbs 3:11-12: “For whom the Lord loves, he reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”

See, when God disciplines us, he does it and it should result in us understanding God loves me. He doesn’t want me to act like this. He doesn’t want me to go with this person. He does not want me to do something that I possibly want to do because it will not be the path that pleases the Lord. And so God disciplines me.

Have you ever been disciplined by the Lord and know it? Has the Lord ever spanked you spiritually where you felt the sting of it, but you got the message that God loves me and he’s not going to allow me as a good parent to live this way, to act this way, to do these things?

And he does it because he delights in us too. As an earthly father delights in a son who does the right thing and a daughter who does the right thing.

So he delights in his son as the Lord delights in his children. So the son should accept the discipline of the Lord as he does the discipline of his wise parents.

Imperative 5: Choose Friends Who Will Help Your Son

There’s a fifth imperative and it’s this one. A wise father will choose friends who will help his son.

Choosing friends, is that a big deal?

It’s a very big deal because a lot of times what happens is that when your children grow up and they meet friends that are of risky character and are adventurous, that’s tempting for a young person.

“Choosing friends is a very big deal — friends of risky character are tempting for a young person.”

The Warning Against Sinful Enticement

That’s very tempting for a young person. In fact, if you look at Proverbs 1:10, notice what it says. This is in the first chapter of Proverbs about training children. It says in verse 10:

“My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, come with us, let us lie and wait for blood. Let us ambush the innocent without cause. Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, even whole as those who go down to the pit.

We will find all kinds of precious wealth and we will fill our houses with spoil. Throw in your lot with us. We shall all have one purse. My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, for their feet run to evil, and they hasten to shed blood.

Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net in the sight of any bird. But they lie and wait for their own blood. They ambush their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence. It takes away the life of its possessor.”

See, stay away from people that are going to entice you in that way.

I know that people have experienced that as they go off to college, if they go off into the military, if they go somewhere away from home. You’re going to meet people that have characters that are very enticing but are very destructive because they do not live by the standard of wisdom. They live by the standard of foolishness and by the standard of being naive—that if I do this thing, I’m not going to get caught, and you come with me and you won’t get caught either. No, you get caught.

“Stay away from people that are going to entice you — they live by the standard of foolishness.”

And there’s a lot of people that are in jail and in prison today because they followed people like that.

Iron Sharpens Iron

In other words, a father chooses his friends—friends who are going to help keep their children on track, help them if they’re in trouble, and encourage them to do the right thing.

As it says in the word of God, he befriends good men, good people who can be near when the son experiences some calamity.

Where it says don’t forsake your own friend or your father’s friend. As we have the scripture in Proverbs 27:17, iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. You want people who will sharpen your children, who will not go against what you gave them but will enhance what you gave them and encourage them in that path.

The tragedy of a son forsaking the wise counsel of his father and his father’s counselors is plainly evident when you read the word of God and come to a passage of scripture like 1 Kings 12:6-8, where you have Jeroboam and Rehoboam. Rehoboam was asking counsel on what he should do.

Proverbs 27:17: “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. You want people who will sharpen your children.”

Should he ask the counsel of the elder men, the older men who served under his father Solomon, or should he ask the council of the younger men? What did he choose? He chose the younger men, and the kingdom was split in half.

He chose foolish counsel and not the wise counsel of his father’s trusted advisors.

Israel suffered for that for a long time. Still suffering for that.

Imperative 6: Care About Your Legacy

And there’s one last thing. The last imperative today is this: a wise father will carry out his legacy.

He will actually care about his legacy.

Now, is a legacy important? Yes, it’s important because you are going to pass on to your son and your children something. You’re going to give them something.

But here he wants his son to be proud of their association, that the children are proud of their associations with their mother and father.

And so as I started out, grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the pride of his sons is their father.

Also, a father who thinks about legacy—the Bible says he will leave his children an inheritance. Where it says a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.

This is not just wealth. It could be wealth—part of that’s wealth—but it’s the wisdom that he’s given him. It’s the way to live life, the way to get everything out of life that God would want you to have, that will produce a stable and happy and prosperous life that you can take now and pass it to the next generation.

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children — not just wealth, but wisdom and the way to live life.”

A Life of Integrity Blesses Your Sons

And then I want you to notice one last passage in Proverbs 20:7. This man who cares about legacy lives a life of integrity so his sons will be blessed after he’s gone.

In Proverbs 20:7, it says, “The righteous man who walks in his integrity, how blessed are his sons after him.” Legacy is important because his children will be all right when the father and mother, the God-fearing couple, have passed the torch of wisdom to their children and they will be blessed by God.

Proverbs 20:7: “A righteous man who walks in his integrity — how blessed are his sons after him.”

So God, help fathers to step up and fulfill their God-given responsibility today and every day because we need this more than anything today.

A Father’s Prayer

Now let me end and leave you with a prayer, a prayer written by a father some years ago.

And this is what he prayed.

He said, “Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat and humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son, O Lord, whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be. A son who will know thee, and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and the spur of difficulties and challenge.

Here, let him learn to stand up in the storm. Here, let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Lord, build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, whose will will master himself before he seeks to master other men. One who will learn to laugh yet never forget to weep.

One who will reach into the future yet never forget the past. And after all these things, Lord, add, I pray, enough sense of humor so that he will always be serious, but never take himself too seriously.

“Build me a son who will learn to laugh yet never forget to weep, who will reach into the future yet never forget the past.”

Give him humility so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.

And then, Lord, I his father will dare to whisper, I have not lived in vain.

General Douglas MacArthur.

Closing Prayer

Let’s pray.

Lord, I thank you today that your word contains wisdom that no one could get anywhere else. I pray, Lord, that we take full advantage of it in these days. Lord, raise up fathers that will be strong in the Lord. Raise up fathers, Lord, that will have deep and abiding convictions.

I pray, Lord, that their children, our children may be blessed because of the example left to them. And that we would have pride in our parents.

Make it so, Lord, that your name would be uplifted and glorified.

I pray this today in Christ’s name.

Amen.

Let’s stand.

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