In this sermon, Pastor Babij concludes his examination of the New Testament’s teaching on marriage and divorce. In this sermon, Pastor Babij explains the two exceptions to God’s prohibition on divorce and remarriage: 1.) habitual, unrepentant, hard-hearted adultery and 2.) desertion by a non-believing spouse. Pastor Babij also discusses what a Christian should do if there is an unbiblical divorce in that Christian’s past. Pastor Babij concludes, in light of God’s seriousness regarding marriage, by giving counsel to the not yet married about what kind of spouse a Christian should seek.
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okay good morning let’s take our Bibles this morning and turn to the gospel of Mark as we continue to look at this passage of scripture about the truth of serious discipleship concerning marriage and divorce and as you turn there let’s bow in a word of pray father I do thank you this morning for bringing us here today I pray father that as we approach your word that we would be attentive to it especially Lord the seriousness of this section of scripture and this topic I pray Lord that as your disciples today would grow that they would become discerning they would become serious they would become disciples who are in self-control and um view the institution of marriage in a new way in the way that it was originally created so Lord remove from us any uh any kind of uh understanding of marriage that has been Incorrect and replace it Lord with uh what the scriptures say say about it and then I pray Lord From This Day Forward we would take that position and that we’d be able to communicate it to others too even if Lord we have made mistakes and we have not aligned up with scripture concerning our situation I pray Lord that you would just guide us and direct us in this matter today in Christ’s name amen Mark chapter 10 looking at let me just read read verses 10 through 12 just pick it up there remember the question that was raised by the Pharisees in verse number two came from Deuteronomy chapter 24 where the Pharisees asked Jesus in verse two uh is it lawful for a man to divorce a wife Jesus said to them well then what what did Moses command and they said Moses commanded or permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away okay as the Pharisees left and now the disciples are alone with Jesus in the house of course that piqued their curiosity to want more information about it and so in verse number 10 it says in the house this is Mark 10: 10 disciples began questioning him about this again matter of divorce and he said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man she is committing adultery as I said last time that those words are shocking matter of fact in the other gospels the disciples responded in this way that it’s better not to be married and that’s that’s a proper response but it is it is a shocking statement especially in our day but remember the question has already been raised what will marriage mean when virtually anyone has a right to marry and anyone has a right to redefine marriage in whatever way they want well the answer we are we are WI ing in our day uh that marriage as a a privileged and respected institution is disappearing right before our eyes marriage actually will never be the same again because of what’s taking place we Christians though cannot sit by we can’t let the waves of an evil and a perverse generation wash over us and sweep us away we have the word of God and the word of God giv gives the correct understanding of sex of gender of marriage of Morality In other words the Bible will establish the framework for a clear understanding of marriage a clear understanding of identity a clear understanding of sexuality so the church what the church must do is it must seize the opportunity to be courageous uh in our day so we can witness the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that we can take the biblical pattern of a good and a Godly marriage between a man and a woman and work hard at it two sinful people coming together in a marriage is already difficult but by God’s spirit and by his word we can do it we can have successful strong m marriages that ultimately become a picture of how Christ loved the church but it takes constant attention it takes diligence we cannot give in we cannot give up and so the Lord tells us in the word of God that listen the reason why divorce came about in the first place is because of the hardness of people’s hearts the hardness of the heart of man in verse number five so the Lord’s disciples are to have their minds changed and look upon marriage as an irrevocable insoluble indisoluble and permanent Union between a man and a woman it was a union that they nor no one else should break so Jesus has been teaching his disciples several important truths in reference to the marriage institution the first thing he was teaching is he was reminding his disciples of what has already been written in scripture concerning God’s original blueprints for marriage I already covered those and secondly he is correcting a false understanding that has been prevalent in the day in which he ministered among the Pharisees the religious leaders and amongst the general population Moses had indeed been divinely directed to allow divorce in cases of uncleanness and that is sexual immorality sexual immorality is the uncleanness or the inde indecency of Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse one where it says when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes he has found and because he has found some indecency in her then of course and on that he can put her away give her a certificate of of divorce and send her away so Jesus interprets some indecency in her as Poria fornication that’s the exception Clause not recorded in mark But recorded in Matthew 5 and Matthew chapter 19 in other words sexual immorality is the uncleanness and indecency of Deuteronomy chap 24:1 so she was given a certificate of divorce uh in that passage but being defiled also in that passage shows that she was dismissed for something other than fornication sexual immorality either in the first or second marriage in that passage of scripture is it was an illegitimate divorce and the marriage Union was not then broken it is only broken if the other me remarries adultery is committed defilement occurs and of course uh when that happens uh then immorality becomes rampant so Moses permitted divorce for one reason I’m saying in the first point is that sexual sin which I covered last week I’m reviewing is sexual immorality now why it it is it’s because it is only sin uh it is the only sin that breaks the marriage Union and and that’s what really actually comes up in um the gospel of Mark uh Matthew excuse me and and other another place but if you notice back again in verse number 11 how clear the Lord says this he says and he said to them in verse 11 whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her all right so this issue of being remarried here is interpreted by the Lord as adultery and if she divorces her husband and marries another man she is committing adultery so that is ramp rampant adultery in this passage so in order for the church to prevent ramp and adultery they must keep the original pattern for marriage set by God in the beginning and the Lord already laid that out for us so this interpretation is really consistent with the exception clause which I’d like to look at uh this morning so I want you to take your Bibles and turn to two passages in the gospel of Matthew and that’s Matthew 5:32 and Matthew chap 19 verse number n now of course this is the exception Clause as as it is referred to and I I’ll say it again that the gospel of Mark and the Gospel of Luke leaves it out it leaves out the exception clause and the reason why is because Mark and Luke are only given the general rule and the gospel of matth Matthew alone is is recording the exception and the reason why is because remember the subject in Mark is presenting to disciples who are going to be the Salt and Light of the World to get the correct understanding of what marriage is and if divorce takes place the only reason for divorce to take place and then of course the matter of when a person is allowed to be remarried if divorce does take place so there are four views one may hold on divorce and remarriage I’ll mention them again I did mention them last time the first one is this that divorce and remarriage are okay for virtually any reason that was particularly the thought of the day in jesus’ time it’s the thought of the day today all right I don’t hold that position neither the scripture second view is this both divorce and remarriage are forbidden under all circumstances well that is not something the Bible teaches either a third position would be divorce is permissible under circum certain circumstances but remarriage is forbidden I also don’t believe that the scripture teaches that position the position that I mentioned last week which I believe the scripture holds and I hold is that number four that divorce and remarriage are both both permitted in only only under certain circumstances and so there I said last week there are three biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage actually there are only two but a third one also breaks the Oneness the one uh Oneness in the marriage Union where a man and woman become one there are three things that break that so the first biblical ground for divorce and remarriage is I said first was the habitual unrepentant hard-hearted adultery and fornication that would take place in a marriage now if you look at Matthew chapter 5 verse number 32 you’ll see it says this but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the cause of unchastity makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery and then look over to Matthew chapter 19:9 where it says similar thing and I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for immorality so here it’s translated immorality the other passage unchastity really meaning a sexual sin uh and marries another woman commits adultery so see the exception Clause is not only for divorce but for remarriage that if a person is biblically divorced they could get remarried without the stigma of entering into an adulterous relationship so what is true of the husband is also true of the wife so yes originally the penalty of adultery was death however because of the hardness of people’s hearts God allowed Moses to spare the adulterer Life by allowing divorce so God in his Mercy provided divorce instead of death and of course we are as already mentioned because of the entrance of sin into the picture uh however even though it is still God’s will that marriage be till death do us part the reason for divorce is sin and there are all sorts of sins that destroy marriages but there is only one sin that dissolves the Oneness in the marriage bond and that was the the major point that Jesus made when he said to the Pharisees in Mark chap 10 for from the beginning of creation God made man uh made them male and female and for this reason man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh and they are no longer two but one that that picture of two people coming together and becoming one becomes the matter in deciding whether someone is actually broken in that Oneness and of course again the only one there’s only one sin that dissolves the Oneness of M the marriage bond and as that is the sin of horia uh refer this word uh refers not only actually in in the in scripture in that day it referred not only to sexual behavior involving single individuals but also to infid Fidelity during the engagement period and of course in marriage itself so the term horia fornication can be understood to include unchastity prostitution harlotry uh of course fornication is another way of saying it and various kinds of unlawful sexual intercourse immorality such as adultery homosexuality beastiality incest see the term fornication I believe has a uh refers to sexual sins in a general way so then God in his Mercy gave an exception the marriage bond could be broken by infidelity Moses allowed for divorce in Israel and Jesus allowed for divorce with one possibility at least in the gospels we have more information in the Epistles when I’ll look there in a minute in other words uh sexual misconduct is really the the one possibility that means that sexual misconduct on the part of a husband or a wife so flagrantly violates the one flesh Union that it may lead to the dissolution of the marriage bond now saying that I’ll say this also that in scripture only one act could break the marital Oneness that leads to divorce but I said in the beginning I’ve been using the phrase that this one this for first point this first reason uh that a person can have biblical for divorce and remarriage is that of a habitual unrepentant hard-hearted type of adultery and the reason why I say that is because we must keep in mind that the divorce is always always the last resort and I believe that everything possible should be done to rescue marriages even when sexual sin has taken place see because divorce is allowed but it is not required it is permitted but it is not required and the second reason why I would say habitual unrepentant hard-hearted adultery is because of the appeal of the very character of God that God is patient and long suffering with his children when we sin God does not zap us out with one sin does he if he did no one would be here today all right so that means when we all together are growing and increasing in the knowledge of God in fact in Colossians 1: 9-1 it actually tells us that when we’re increasing in the knowledge of God we are also increasing in our own patience and longsuffering uing with other people and in circumstances and we are actually doing that with joy not under duress not because we have to but because we want to because we know that’s the character of God to every one of us God is patient and longsuffering with us right so that means why I say that is be in in this appeal that from the Old Testament we can conclude that God allowed for the possibility of divorce when he gave Israel the nation itself a certificate of divorce after prolonged spiritual adultery in fact if you’d like to turn there you don’t have to but you can just mark down the reference in Jeremiah 3 and verse number 8 listen what it says there it says and I saw Jeremiah 3:8 and I saw saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel the adulteries is in the plural that means god bore along with his people in their act of spiritual adultery all right it says I sent her away and given her a RIT of divorce yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear but she went and was a harlot also now the Lord is speaking specifically in a spiritual way there or the people worshiped other idols and to God worshiping other Idols is actual spiritual adultery because what it does is it breaks the Oneness that a a the the person in Israel would have with the one and living God and would break the Oneness that a man had with God himself so in other words it was not a onetime act but a habitual unrepentant hard-hearted adultery in which God brought down the boom and gave them a certificate of separation from him so in other words under this first point Oneness is dissolved or broken by habitual unrepented hard heart started adultery that means a person who divorces for that reason the innocent party can be remarried or they can decide to be single they can decide to stay separated and be single and not be involved at all with another person see just because the person says well I’m not married now I can go with people that I want to go out with and I could do what I want to do but not make any commitments if they involve with any if they’re involved with any kind of sexual activity it’s still fornication before God it’s still sin before God you can’t get away from that God sees and God knows what’s going on and God takes this very seriously now I want to say this though that divorce and remarriage is no easy subject to evalu every single circumstance that happens has to be evaluated on its own Merit and its own circumstances and then the scripture must be applied to it to figure out where that person is and what they should do next so and the Bible of course is is clear on this one a second biblical ground for divorce and remarriage is found in 1 Corinthians which I’d like you to turn there chapter 7 1 Corinthians 7 and verse 10 through6 16 I’m not going to read all those verses but I’m just going to identify the verses that are pertinent to the point all right so the second biblical ground for divorce and remarriage is desertion desertion of a non-believing partner all right now look at verse number 10 and 11 because in verse 1011 gives directives to married Believers all right these are believers that are married it says in verse 10 but to the married I give instructions not I but the Lord that the wife should not leave her husband but if she does leave let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband now there it’s given instructions that if it go it gets so bad that she cannot stay and she leaves she must remain unmarried there’s no option for for remarriage there and that the husband should not send her his wife away even uh in this of course opposite the man that he shouldn’t send her away he should continue to keep her as his wife so see the obligation of the Christian wife or husband is to abstain from obtaining a divorce because of the sinful nature of man if one does obtain a divorce they are exhorted to remain single or be reconciled to their spouse second directive that is given here in Corinthians is to the Christian marri to a nonbeliever somebody gets converted right they were both unconverted one person in the marriage gets converted but the other spouse doesn’t get converted so you have either a husband or a wife in that home that are believers they they want to follow Christ they want to learn the word of God but the other uh partner their their husband or wife not interested uh they have been come to Faith and so they are um but you know so there are two things that could happen either they could leave or they could stay because they want to stay right okay you do your I’m doing my thing but I don’t want to get out I want to stay well the Bible gives the Ives for that too in 1 Corinthians 7 if you notice verse 12 and 13 here’s for somebody who wants to stay in the marriage now remember this is directed to the Christian married to a non-believer it says in verse 12 but to the rest I say not the Lord that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him let him not send her away in verse 13 and the woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her let her not send let uh let her not send her husband away all right so there’s the directives there but what if the person doesn’t want to stay in the marriage well verse number 15 1 Corinthians chapter 7 it says this they don’t want to stay in the marriage it says yet if the unbelieving one leaves let him leave the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases but God has called us to peace now that little term not under bondage simply refers to listen something’s broken they’re no longer under that person anymore so in God’s mercy divorce is permitted when the unbeliever demands the divorce and they are then free from the marriage bond when the unbeliever obtains the divorce so the unbeliever is the one who should obtain the divorce why because they are free from the marriage bond there and they are permitted at that point to remarry all right so in other words they abandon they don’t want to live with the believer anymore they abandon the marriage they desert the marriage and they go off and do do what they have to do well in that case the Oneness is dissolved broken by dissertion the desertion of the unbeliever and so that frees up the person to be remarried or again stay single for the innocent party but they are only to remarry those who are in the Lord they are only to remarry the believer is only to remarry a believer a genuine blood-bought believer and so that is the second reason that the Bible gives where a person can get a divorce and then get REM married there’s a third well it’s not really reason for divorce but there is a third event let me say it like that that dissolves the marriage Oneness and of course that event would be death and I want you to notice what it says in verse number 39 of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 the death of a spouse it says in verse number 39 it says a wife is not bound is a wife is bound as long as her husband lives there’s that word Bound Again right she’s bound to her husband as long as he lives but if her husband is dead she is free to marry to free to marry to whom she wishes only in the Lord in other words that the Oneness is dissolved by death and remarriage can take take place or singleness can take place uh for the one surviving their partner but again only they are to marry those who are real Believers so in conclusion at least for this section divorce is never commanded it is permitted in chronic cases of fornication slash immorality and the desertion of an unbeliever divorce is not God’s original plan so divorce is not God’s will for every cause it is only permitted in the case of adultery and that is primarily prolonged and unrepentant adultery and desert by an unbeliever it must really be emphasized that apart from those two specific exception cases divorce is not sanctioned in scripture so if divorce is not sanctioned in scripture therefore neither is remarriage if it doesn’t come under those two categories or the third one being death so even though divorce is allowed for unfaithfulness it’s not required divorce is Again The Last Resort when a partner has committed adultery and Reconciliation appears impossible now saying all that if the church fails to uphold this good and great institution of marriage it will be because their saltiness has got and sufficiently mixed with the views and patterns of this world system see the church will will will then lose its ability to preserve and season the world and then hence corruption will result and abound hindering Salt’s Effectiveness to do its job to preserve to season and then of course shelving its use usefulness and of course the point being that back in Mark 9: 50 salt is good it says but if the salt becomes unsalty with what will you make it salty again in other words if it the serious disciples are going to have their minds change concerning the institution of marriage that even if they were they bought into the culture and the mindset of the culture even if they bought into the religious definitions of what marriage is and what m remarriage is even if they got bad counsel from someone else about their own marital situation they are to change their mind and their mind is to be now adjusted to what God teaches in scripture so that that in turn can be passed down to the Next Generation so that in turn can be passed down to the next uh group of Christians that are going to take the gospel to the rest of the world so the marriage institution if it’s not kept where it ought to be will be thrown out and Trampled Under the foot of men the world will see no difference between the professing church and what everybody else is doing therefore the church will have no preserving influence on this corrupt world if it fails to be different and it fails to be holy in this matter of marriage now let me mention that the starting point for a successful marriage is salvation it’s real genuine salvation you must be born again and once you’re born again and have the Holy Spirit of God living in you you are the temple of God your body is no longer your own you are now now God’s possession you are responsible for your body where you go with it what you do with it you are responsible with your body in fact in 1 Corinthians chapter 3 verse 16 it says do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the spirit of God dwells in you if any man destroys the temple of God what God will destroy him for the temp temple of God is Holy and that is what you are and then another passage of scripture in Corinthians if you turn back a chapter chapter 6 notice what it says there chapter 6 verse number 15 1 Corinthians chapter 6 verse1 15 and this is talking about it in in a dual way this is talking about it in a spiritual way and a physical way listen what it says do you not know verse 15 of 1 Corinthians chapter 6 do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot may it never be verse 16 or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her there’s that Oneness Motif again in Scripture for he says the two will become one flesh verse 17 notice what it says verse 17 but the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with him there’s the Oneness when you’re joined to the Lord you have a Oneness with God the Father through Jesus Christ the son that cannot be broken by spiritual adultery in other words idolatry where you go worship someone else or you say I’m wor ship in this God and this God I have I have several Gods I worship no you only can worship one God so you’re one with God when you become a Believer then in verse number 18 notice what it says it says flee immorality period and then it says this every other sin that a man commits is outside the body but the immoral man sins against his own body verse 19 or do you not know that your body is the the Temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have from God and that you are not your own verse number 20 for you have been bought with a price therefore glorified God where in your body in the thing that you and I walk around with every single day we are to we are to function in our body in a way that honors God not only in what we do but what we think that becomes a serious matter for you and I now let me just give a word to those who have been given bad counsel such as divorce under the no fa divorce policy or divorc on the grounds of incompatibility or remarried without a clear understanding of biblical principles we need the wisdom of Solomon when in these matters believe me but the first thing is this where the sin of adultery or un an unbiblical remarriage has taken place forgiveness is possible and available to to those who repent and confess their sins and bear fruit of repentance see the question may be this does God forgive those who fail in their marriage and the answer to that question is assured by scripture specifically where it says in Mark chapter 3 verse number 28 truly I say to you all sins shall be for forgiven the sons of men and whatever blasphemies they utter but whoever blasphemies against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness but is guilty of an eternal sin so that’s the sin of blasphemy that’s the sin that one cannot be forgiven of and really basically what that is is rejecting Christ if you reject Christ you have eternal punishment you rejected the only offer God gives you to be made right with him to have your sins forgiven all of them and to have them washed away forever never to come against you again see if you reject that offer that is the imparable sin because it’s the holy spirit of God that convicts us of sin righteousness in judgment if we don’t want to listen to God then we have to we’re listening to ourselves or someone else and therefore that’s an eternal sin a second thing I want to mention is this if you are in an unbiblical marriage you should not attempt to get out of it matter of fact in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse number 27 it says are you bound to a wife do not send her away see what you need to do is to seek forgiveness for the sin of hard-heartedness and adultery and then work hard hard to glorify God and be a blessing to the mate with whom you are married again if you are not biblically divorced and remarried then some biblical counsel if is needed again I just want to mention confession repentance that your Mar remarriage was unbiblical and then also to give yourself as a Living Sacrifice to God because of his Mercy to you because he does forgive that sin but he doesn’t want that sin to go on and that wrong teaching to be propagated he wants you to change your mind he wants you to do his will and he wants you to humbly serve before it says in Romans chap 12:1 I urge you therefore Brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies there it is again as living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship and then what and do not be conform to the world don’t let the World Press you into its mold concerning all its views especially this view of marriage and then what happens be transformed in the renewing of your mind let the scripture change your mind give you the mind of Christ so you see it God’s way and then from this day forward whatever happened in the past go on and trust God God that his will the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect no one can change it this is God’s Will and of course the road back is repentance and forgiveness restoration and companionship getting a couple getting back to intimacy and then of course repair and good maintenance on their marriage so they don’t head in Direction that they’re going to shipwreck and then of course resume obedience to God’s original design and be blessed that’s what we ought to do so Brethren at this point I just want to say great wisdom and counsel and discernment and prayer needs to go into a person who wants to get married but is not married yet because according to scripture they’re going to be married to someone that they’re going to be one with cemented to for the rest of their Earthly life so I’m just saying this to those who have not yet been married and you want to be married and there’s nothing wrong with the desire to be married even though Paul says three times in First Corinthians stay single like I am because you have more time to serve the Lord if you’re single and if God’s given you the gift of singleness God bless you for that there’s nothing wrong with that there’s nothing there’s nothing wrong at all with that some people may look down upon it but scripture does not matter of fact it looks at it in a favorable way so in other words how would a wise person choose a mate what are you looking for in a mate see a wise person finds out these things before they get in a serious relationship in other words you’re you may have no prospects at all there may be no one down the road but you want to get married you start thinking about who you’re going to marry now and what their character ought to be what are you looking for I’ll tell you what you’re looking for you’re looking for I’m going to give you nine things you’re looking for here’s the first one here’s the first one and all of them are based on Proverbs and the word of God the first one is this that you’re looking for a wise man and woman who desires to do what is biblically right before God that’s what you’re looking for and that means also that you’re looking to do what’s biblically right before God yourself you got to put yourself there first in other words they seek God’s will they want God’s will because they know God’s will is the best for them and so therefore they seek his Direction Proverbs 3: 5 and 6 trust in the Lord with your whole heart and do not lean on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight that’s a wise person a second thing you’re looking for in a man or or a woman who is you’re looking for a man and or a woman who is truly converted bearing spiritual fruit for their lord and savior and I mean that for this reason they’re not just saying I know Jesus they’re not just saying I go to church they’re not just saying oh I read the Bible no they are a Christian and what I mean by that from Proverbs is they fear God they fear God no exceptions no exceptions for it says in Proverbs 1:7 the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge fools despise wisdom and instruction and then of course there’s no exception a third thing is is that you’re looking for a godly man and woman who fears the Lord and practices spiritual discernment all right meaning they value the spiritual they want to be the wise man of scripture they do not want to be characterized as a fool as naive or as someone who scoffs they want to be the wise person and this is above all in Proverbs 3:7 do not be wise in your own eyes fear the lord and turn away from Evil and then Proverbs 3:7 love her that means love wisdom and she will watch over you see a person who loves wisdom will have discernment all right and they will have determin on who they’re going to pick to marry it’s not going to be any old person it’s not because you were attracted physically it’s not because of you’re getting you know butterflies in your stomach it’s because you have a good understanding of what makes two people come together and stay together their whole life see that’s what the scripture does for us a for thing is this they have good training and background all right you’re looking for a man or woman who has self-control and can be trusted and relied upon and this is of course Very desirable in other words they’re not an alcoholic they’re not involved with illegal or legal drugs they have not been accused of any kind of abuse of people or child abuse or divorce or any criminal activity and I can go on for that in other words where it says train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old you will not depart from it that he has left the home with a good understanding of what wisdom is and of course Proverbs 22:6 a good name is to be more desired than great riches favor is better than silver and gold and of course Proverbs 20 verse number one wine is a mocker and strong drink a brawler and whoever is Intoxicated by it is not wise and then a fifth thing you’re looking for a man or a woman who shows kindness to all kinds of people and respects all kinds of people number five would be that the person is good-natured and even tempered kindness is easy for them they are not given to Pride where they are looking down at people they’re not given to Quick bouts of anger where and this is very much needful in picking someone it says in Proverbs 6:17 hot on and a lying tongue and hands that shed innocent blood God hates that and then in Proverbs 22:24 and 25 it says do not associate with a man given to anger or go with a hot-tempered man lest you learn his ways and find a snare for yourself he is a person that has kindness towards people doesn’t have a chip on his shoulder or her shoulder you know one day that I I was at a prayer breakfast actually many many years ago and kind of we’re at this young couple’s house they weren’t married for a couple years and um I never saw this kind of activity in my life but something happened between the husband and wife there and she got very very very angry ran out of the house got in the car started up and pulled out and as she was pulling out there was a car right next to her but she started turning the wheel right when she was pulling out so the car just went bam smack right into the other car and it was all and she came out apologetic and all that kind of stuff but it was all because of just a quick temper not thinking what was going on not being able to deal with it in a a way that was was honorable and and yet you know see those are some of the things you don’t find out when you are cing is it cording Dwayne what is it all right you’re getting serious with a person and you’re thinking I could marry this person you don’t find out some things right away you may find those things people can hide things until they say I do and then they’re gone in a direction that you never thought right that happens all the time see a wise person though they’re observant they’re skilled they know what to look for they look for the little things the little kernels you know little fox on the wall they look for those things and I tell you what if you see those things don’t even pursue but pray that the Lord would Direct you to a person that would be compatible with you and that you’re looking for a marriage that’s going to last that’s going to grow a marriage that’s moving forward with the Lord a sixth thing would be this the person is ambitious and industrious so you’re looking for a man or a woman who is not lazy but hardworking and uses time talents and money wisely and not only that but they also give they’re not just hoarders they’re just not stacking up money and that’s it they are people that are wise and industrious and ambitious like it says in Proverbs 10:4 this is vital in the relationship poor is he who works with a negligent hand but the hand of the diligent makes rich in Proverbs 10:4 go to the ant oh you Slugger observe her ways and be wise which having no chief officer or ruler prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision for Harvest see there is something about someone who is industrious they are diligent they don’t even come close to the definition of being lazy there is something you need to look for that you don’t want to marry someone you’re going to have to take care of the rest of your life because they don’t want to work that just puts a burden on a marriage and on a relationship that’s not good right because that’s going to lead to not having enough finances it leads to this it leads to that leads to all kinds of things don’t don’t you look at look for that before you say I’m I’m going to think about Mar you know I’m thinking about marrying this person number seven they have good morals you’re looking for a man or woman who is clean and healthy in Body Soul and mind not perfect we’re not looking for someone who’s perfect we’re so we’re looking for someone who is moving in these directions there this is priceless that they uh you know what it’s not used very often today but that if you if you really want to come before the Lord you want to be a virgin before you get married this this whole idea of cohabitating with someone before they marry to see how it works out is is is from the pit of Hell that’s not God’s intention it never will be God’s intention and that’s the world’s intention right that’s should never be in your mind your your thinking at all it should be as far away from you as possible keep yourself pure sexual and that means keep yourself pure in your mind sexual because that’s where it starts it starts in your mind and then you’ll have self-control when it comes to your body you’ll learn to say no you’ll say I’m not going there I’m not doing that I’m not not going to with that through I’m not going to read this stuff I’m not going to look at that stuff see no there’s a lot of no that takes place when you have control over yourself right but you’ll be glad for it in the long R and not only that you’ll be actually practicing living in and before the eyes of the Lord so this is priceless that’s where it says in Proverbs Chapter 55 let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth as a loving Hind and a graceful dough let her breast satisfy you at all times be exhilarated all always with her love an excellent wife in Proverbs 31:10 who can find for her worth is far above jewels and then number eight you’re looking for a man or a woman who view marriage as a permanent institution and a gift of God’s favor in other words you’re viewing somebody who has a lifetime agreement and they believe marriage is forever and that it’s one flesh that’s why the scriptures tell us listen to rejoice in the wife of your Youth and of course the Genesis pass the scripture you’ll leave father and mother you’ll leave to your spouse and you’ll become one flesh That’s essential a lifetime agreement looking at it from a Biblical perspective and then here’s the last one this may be a tough one you view children as a gift from God now you say well I did that before I got married but when I had kids it’s not so much as a gift no I’m just saying it’s it’s it’s really wonderful to have kids kids are going to teach you more than you think because sometimes when your kids are growing up you’re going to see you in them and you’re going to see the things that you don’t like about yourself and your children right and of course for parents it’s our job to find out where our kids at what’s going on on their heart what bent toward sin do they have and adjust them away from it right and give them wisdom and to give them a good model as you live before their eyes on what a a good marriage is you know and um and even if your marriage failed you can teach them what a good marriage is right so view children in other words as a Heritage as a gift from God uh and so it says in scripture behold children our gift from the Lord it says in Proverbs 1273 the fruit of the womb is a reward it’s wonderful to have children and then to see your CH children grow up and actually walk with the Lord is is even a greater blessing but remember the Lord doesn’t promise that all our kids will be saved right it doesn’t now when you are saved and you live those things before your children’s eyes the grace of God is abundant in that home and there’s a great possib all your kids will be saved but I tell you what that also takes diligence and in agreeing with the Holy Spirit and being Sanctified in the character of God so you can display before them what is right and what is wrong what is God’s way what is every other and even if they don’t come to know they know it’s right and they know their parents taught them but we all pray that our kids come to know Christ and live for Christ from us when they leave the home right that’s the that’s the greatest GI but we all have to leave it in the sovereignty of God no God’s Sovereign he’s wiser than me I don’t know why some things happen and don’t happen he doesn’t give us the answers to that but I trust him and his character and his will is better than what I think and it always will be right so those are just some things uh in probably preaching five messages on this one take that believe me I wish I had this information but thank the Lord in his sovereignty and in my ignorance the lord gave me a great wife I couldn’t Pi have picked Jane in a trillion years and and and thank the Lord he’s Sovereign in that to right and uh so um I’m humble to uh have a white wife let’s pray amen Lord thank you Lord your goodness to us and your longsuffering and patience with us and your willingness to correct us when we’re wrong and then Lord when we send your desire to want to forgive us is just overwhelming Lord I Thank you you for who you are I thank you Lord for your word that is a great gift to us I pray Lord that we would all desire to live by it we know Lord when we study it it pushes out our ignorance and it replaces us with the mind and thoughts of God we know Lord that’s where we want to live I do pray Lord for the young people who desire in their hearts someday to be married I pray Lord that that they truly would have a strong desire to be wise and Lord to look for a person and be thinking about the kind of person they want to marry and I pray Lord that even now they’ll decide what to do but I know Lord even because of sin things can go wrong things can go sad I just pray Lord when they have and when they will will that you would rescue us and that you would would allow always bring us back to the place where we’re made humble that we are brought under your will in that matter and that we if that need be repent and that we know we find in Christ forgiveness we thank you Lord and I just pray that You’ bless our young people with good marriages I pray you bless the marriages that are represented here and in our church family that you would bless them Lord with a desire to want them to be the picture how Christ loves the church so Lord let us be humble and submissive to the Holy Spirit when he convicts us of sin when he shows us that we have not been the person we ought to be in our marriage and I pray that you would change our attitudes change our mind change us so so Lord we can go and uh put to death our sins and put on righteousness and put on the garments that are pleasing before your sight spiritually and work that our sanctification as you work in US you would work it out thank you Lord for what you’ll do in Christ’s name amen let’s Stand Together Christ Alone hope is found he is my life my strength my soul this corner St the Solid Ground from through the Fest Dr Storms what Heights of what deps of Peace when fears are when striving SE my comforter My All In all here in the love of Christ I Stand in Christ alone who took on flesh fullness of God in Hess Faith this GI of love and the righteousness scorned by the on he k to sa till on the cross of Jesus di the rock of was satisfied for every sin on him was laid near in the death of Christ I there in the ground his body lay light in the world by darkness and for in glorious up the greato again and as he me since and his and is m b the prous blood of no no feel in death this is the power of Christ in me from light’s first C to final pray Jesus commends my death no power of hell no can me from me be the ofr return or calls me home here in the power of Christ I’ll here in the power of Christ I’ll and we’ll try something a little bit different today I’m going to read a scripture passage um they will be dismissed um so in Romans 15:5 says now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement Grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus so that with one Accord you may with One Voice glorify the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ and maybe what we heard today about marriage about how we are to conduct ourselves within marriage and divorce and um may we all have the same mind on that may we all have the mind of Christ on that U so we might glorify Our Father in Heaven if you’re dismissed see you next week